


and i remember you

by haikyuutrash



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Confessions, First Kiss, M/M, Post-Canon, just an idea i had to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:54:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23410528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikyuutrash/pseuds/haikyuutrash
Summary: Kuroo bolted upright, much to the surprise of the woman. He said a quick ‘thank you’ to her and grabbed his duffel bag, running out of the train just before the doors closed. He hopped onto the train on the opposite platform that arrived seconds after, taking another half an hour to get back to where he’d started. Then he stepped out of the station, a mile away from his house.And he ran.###Kuroo leaves for college and on the way, he realises that maybe there's still something he wants to say before he goes.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 80





	and i remember you

**Author's Note:**

> i'm writing way too many fanfics LOL ~~i'll probably stop for a while after i finish the cafe AU's second part~~!! i pretty much wrote the whole thing based on the idea that Kuroo confesses right before he leaves for college because he realises it'd be a missed opportunity he will regret if he doesn't XD it starts a bit slowly but it gets better as it goes (i think)...enjoy!! <3

The train started, accelerating to a steady speed as the scenery flowed past the window. A pale blue sky, clouds that blended by the edges, trees with pink blossoms peeking out at the break of spring...all of it, passing by like animated panels of a movie. With his chin resting on the palm of his hand, Kuroo looked out of the window, his eyes taking the view that he knew he wouldn’t be seeing for the next week, or maybe even longer. Music played softly through his earphones, the melodies and beats filling his head. The cabin was quiet and most people were doing their own things, not speaking a word other than an occasional whisper. It was a peaceful atmosphere, but even in such conditions, Kuroo didn’t feel at peace.

It was a two-hour ride to college, one that he wouldn’t be sleeping through just like every other train ride he’d been on. He didn’t know when the next time he’d be back in this neighbourhood was, but he did know that it wouldn’t be any time soon. There had been a few options where he could further his studies, but after careful consideration, he’d picked out a college a few hours away from his house. It seemed like the best choice, given the reputation of the college, even if it meant being away from his family and his friends.

Even if it meant being away from Kenma.

He let out a quiet sigh at the thought of that. He had considered going to a nearby college so he wouldn’t move to the dormitory, but his friends, Kenma included, had encouraged him to do what would be the best for him. And the college he chose, it gave out the most scholarships, one of which had gone to Kuroo. So with such an offer, and knowing his friends didn’t mind, how could he not? Now that he thought about it, he’d been a fool to think like that. Of course they wouldn’t tell him to stay, that would just seem selfish.

But if there was someone he would stay for, someone he was willing to give up the scholarship and whatever it brought for, it was Kenma. They had been nearly inseparable since they’d first met. Same school, same sport, same team. Kuroo realised that he _was_ going to miss that. _All of that._ Kenma had always been his best friend, and now that he was leaving, he couldn’t help but worry that it would change. That Kenma would get a new best friend, and then they would be hanging out together every day, and then he would start to forget about his previous best friend...

Kuroo couldn’t imagine what being without Kenma was like. Who would listen to his endless rambling about the most random things? Who would let themselves get dragged to the volleyball court and set for him? Who would be there for him when he just needed the silent company? Together, they were Kuroo and Kenma. But now, he was just Kuroo. And he didn’t like that.

Though his eyes were looking out of the window, he couldn’t see the scenery but instead what filled his vision were his memories that played back like a sequence of scenes --- scenes of a past he was leaving behind. His mind drifted off, away from the present and back to the first time he’d met that one he now called his best friend. He could still remember it as if it were yesterday.

> The first thing Kuroo thought of when he saw Kenma for the first time was that he looked a lot like a cat.
> 
> Maybe it was his eyes, the way he was staring at Kuroo as if he was observing him. And as much as no one would believe Kuroo if he ever said it, he had started out even more introverted than Kenma. It made him feel a little weird to be watched like that and he only shrank further behind his father, averting his eyes though taking the occasional glance at Kenma too. It took about four and a half minutes of persuasion from his father before Kuroo was finally willingly to stop hiding and interact with the other boy.
> 
> Apparently they were neighbours now and they would be seeing each other more often. Fun. More social interaction was always fun. He wondered why the other neighbour left, though it didn’t bother him that much since he’d never really talked to any of the people there anyway. Now that there was someone around his age, perhaps he’d be a little less lonely.
> 
> While the adults were having their own conversation, Kenma had brought Kuroo to his room under the instructions of his mother. There was an awkward silence once the door was closed. Kuroo looked around subtly, noting that the room seemed rather normal. His eyes eventually landed on a video game controller lying on Kenma’s bed.
> 
> Kenma seemed to have noticed Kuroo looking at it. “Wanna play Virtua Fighter?” he asked in a rather monotonous voice. Kuroo thought for a moment as if considering the offer, before nodding. Kenma walked over to his bed and sat down, while Kuroo sat on the floor beside the bed, picking up another controller.
> 
> He’d played Virtua Fighter a few times, though he couldn’t completely remember the commands. Well, he’d just have to figure out along the way. He wasn’t going to ask for help just yet. As the game started, he took a glance at Kenma to take a note of the basics. Having played it before, it wasn’t long before he grasped the general commands again and was able to put up a decent fight. But still, Kenma was surprisingly good at this. They finished around ten rounds before they took a short break and continued with another seven until Kuroo had to go.
> 
> Having something they could do together, even if they didn’t speak much along the way, was enough to forge the slightest bond between them. By the time Kuroo left the house, he’d decided that maybe he’d come over again.

Another passenger got onto the train, sitting at the seat opposite Kuroo. He paid no attention, though. He wondered what Kenma was doing now. There wasn’t practice today, so he was probably at home. Maybe he was playing Virtua Fighter again. 

Kuroo took a quick glance at his watch. Five minutes had passed. Time seemed like it was slipping through a sandglass, in small bits that would add up to a lot more once he’d reached his destination.

The train passed by a building that was all too familiar to him --- the courts in which the Nekoma Primary School had faced a wrecking defeat. Kuroo felt a small smile form on his face at the thought of that. He’d been devastated that day, but at the same time, Kenma had made it a lot better. Just remembering that, Kuroo realised that he didn’t know when, or if, they’d get to practice together again.

> Kuroo sat on the floor with his back against Kenma’s bed, trying to absorb himself in some manga and forget the day’s events. They’d been trashed with a score 25-14, something he hadn’t thought he’d ever be faced with. The more he thought about it, the more he thought that maybe he just wasn’t cut out for this. They’d barely gotten half of the opposing team’s score and that was way below their usual standard. He sighed in frustration once more, covering his face with the opened book.
> 
> “Do you want to go and do some levelling up?” Kuroo turned around at the sound of his friend’s voice. Kenma had never initiated something like volleyball practice, so Kuroo didn’t know if he needed his hearing checked or if he needed to wake up.
> 
> It turned out to be neither. Kenma stood the moment Kuroo nodded, waiting for Kuroo to lead him to wherever they were going to practice. This was...nice. The gloomy look on Kuroo’s face faded and was replaced by a small smile as he stood up and headed out of the room, glancing back briefly to ensure Kenma was coming along.
> 
> The rest of the day was a lot better than Kuroo thought was possible. With Kenma’s help, Kuroo was able to practice a few moves he’d learnt from the internet. They’d be useful in his next match and maybe he could show his teammates some of them. He spiked another one of Kenma’s sets, sending the ball flying straight to the ground. He looked to Kenma and smiled widely. In the span of just a little more than an hour, he’d decided two things. One, he would be most definitely playing a ‘next match’ and he was going to win.
> 
> And two, he was going to make sure Kenma played in the match too.

A few drops of rain splattered onto the window, interrupting Kuroo’s thoughts. It had started to rain a few minutes ago, though it was merely a light drizzle and the sky remained in its bright blue shade. The clouds were only a small shade darker, and if not for the water, no one would be able to tell it was raining. It set a sombre mood, one that certainly fit whatever Kuroo was feeling. 

“You alright?” the woman seated opposite Kuroo asked, a look of mild concern on her face.

Kuroo turned his head a little to look at the person and nodded. “Just...thinking.”

The woman took a glance at Kuroo’s duffel bag. “Moving to a college dormitory?”

Kuroo nodded.

“I still remember when it was my turn for that,” the person said with a sigh. “There’s still something I regret not doing...but it’s a bit too late to turn back now.” The woman pursed her lips slightly, as if she was disappointed about something.

“If you don’t mind telling me, what is that thing?” Kuroo asked curiously.

The woman smiled sadly, fidgeting with her purse on the table. “Before I left for college, there was this classmate of mine that I’d always wanted to make friends with. He’d helped me several times in school and really, I just wanted to thank him for everything. But I was afraid that it would be awkward and he wouldn’t want to talk to me and so I let go of the opportunity and went to college without telling him I was grateful.” She looked up. “It was a little too late when I began to regret and by that time, he’d moved to an overseas university.” She paused for a while before she sighed. “I’ve not seen him since. And I guess...I regret not saying ‘thank you’.”

“...Oh,” Kuroo said. He didn’t know what to say to make her feel better, especially since it seemed like something she held dear in her heart.

The woman’s face turned serious. “So don’t make the same mistake as me, okay?” she said. “If you want to tell someone something, even just a few simple words, do it before it's too late.”

Kuroo nodded and smiled slightly. “Okay.”

There wasn’t anything he thought of that he hadn’t said, however. Despite how he wished he could stay in the same neighbourhood without moving away for college, he couldn’t seem to find anything he had to say to anyone. Well, he could say ‘thank you’ to Kenma for being his best friend, but that was it. And he could always say that over a message or if he came back to visit.

There was a strange feeling within him. The more he remembered Kenma, the more nostalgic he felt. He missed his best friend so much, even if he’d started to think that Kenma was a little more than just a best friend as he recalled whatever had happened between them. They’d always had each other, and that was something Kuroo would greatly miss.

> “Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Kuroo asked, his voice laced with concern. With the Nationals around the corner, the team had stepped on their training schedule and increased the number of times they trained in a week from three to five times. And for someone like Kenma who’d fallen sick from practice in Junior High, Kuroo worried that he wouldn’t be able to cope.
> 
> Kenma nodded, answering the question for the fourth time on their way home. Kuroo looked at him sceptically. Kenma’s face was unusually pale and he looked like he could faint anytime. But if Kenma said he was okay, Kuroo would have to take his word for it, at least for the moment.
> 
> Somewhere along the way, Kenma began to shiver a little. It was subtle, but for Kuroo, it was visible. He turned his head to Kenma again. “You don’t look well,” he stated, earning a glare from the other.
> 
> “I just need some rest,” Kenma mumbled, dismissing it off as he quickened his footsteps a little to get ahead and avoid further questions. Thankfully it was a Friday, so there wasn’t any school the next day. They’d also had dinner together with the team, so Kenma would probably be able to sleep shortly after getting home. Kuroo quickened his pace too, though he kept a little behind as if he was preparing to catch Kenma should the boy collapse.
> 
> Eventually, they made it to Kenma’s house, where Kuroo, much to Kenma’s protests, followed him upstairs. “You didn’t have to come up,” Kenma said, taking off his jacket and collapsing onto his back on his bed.
> 
> Kuroo sat at the edge of the bed, lifting his hand to gently brush against Kenma’s forehead. “You should probably sleep as soon as possible,” he said, ignoring the younger boy’s comment. “I’m pretty sure you have a fever.”
> 
> Kenma grumbled quietly and flipped onto his side, closing his eyes and back facing Kuroo. “Whatever.”
> 
> Kuroo stood up, walked over to the other side of the bed, and lifted the blanket to pull over Kenma, covering him with it. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning,” he said quietly as he brushed a loose strand of hair out of Kenma’s face. After a second glance at the now sleeping boy, he left the room, closing the door quietly behind him. He’d be back in the morning, just as he said he would be. And he’d be waiting for Kenma to wake up.

A soft smile formed on Kuroo’s face just thinking about that time. He’d miss being neighbours with Kenma, being able to visit him at any time and being close to him. He took out his phone and opened the app with his photographs, scrolling through the ones he’d taken with Kenma. Kenma had never been the kind of enjoy taking photographs, but he’d always played along when Kuroo had held the camera in front of them. 

“Thought of something?” the woman interrupted his thoughts just as the train reached the third station, leaving seven to go. The passing rain had stopped, though streams of it remained on the window as a reminder that it had been there. “You know, it’s not too late to turn around.”

Kuroo was silent for a few seconds. “I...don’t know.”

Because thinking about all of this felt a little weird, and made him think that maybe he’d been forgotten to say something after all. He did want to talk to Kenma again, to tell him that he was grateful he had him by his side, that he would miss him a lot now that he was leaving, that he loved him and---

_Wait, what?_

Kuroo bolted upright, much to the surprise of the woman. He said a quick ‘thank you’ to her and grabbed his duffel bag, running out of the train just before the doors closed. He hopped onto the train on the opposite platform that arrived seconds after, taking another half an hour to get back to where he’d started. Then he stepped out of the station, a mile away from his house.

And he ran.

###

It was a few minutes later that he arrived at the doorstep of Kenma’s house, completely exhausted from running all the way from the station. He hesitated for a moment with his finger an inch away from the doorbell. Was he really going to do this? Part of him was afraid this wouldn’t turn out as he hoped it would. It could make everything between Kenma and him tense and Kuroo knew that he certainly wouldn’t want to leave on a bad note. But now that he was already here, what else could he do?

He rang the doorbell.

The door clicked open a few seconds later and Kenma’s mother looked at him in surprise. “I thought you left for college,” she said. But then a few seconds later, she continued, “Kenma’s in his room.” She opened the door and Kuroo thanked her quickly before running up the stairs.

He reached for the door handle before pulling his hand back and knocking on the door. “Come in,” he heard a voice say. So he did. Sitting on the bed was Kenma, looking down and fiddling with a game console. The moment Kuroo walked in, Kenma looked up.

Then he froze.

“...Kuro?” he said, sounding uncertain of himself.

Kuroo smiled. “Hey,” he replied, walking over to where Kenma was staring at him with his eyes wide open.

“Aren’t you supposed to be on the train?” Kenma raised an eye at Kuroo.

The older boy shrugged. “I guess I was supposed to.”

“...Then what are you doing here?” Kenma placed his console on the bed and got off, standing and facing Kuroo.

Kuroo took a deep breath to calm his nerves down. “There’s something I had to say before I left.”

Kenma looked at him blankly. “To me?”

Without answering his question, Kuroo lifted his hand to Kenma’s chin, tilting his head up slightly. “I love you,” he said in a shaky breath, trying his best to keep the colour in his cheeks contained. “I needed to tell you that before I left. I was on the train and I was thinking about… _us_ , and then I realised that I didn’t want to leave without telling you this, because things might be different the next time I see you and I---”

Kenma cut his rambling off, pressing his lips gently but firmly against Kuroo’s. By the time Kuroo had registered everything that had happened in the span of just seconds, Kenma had broken the kiss and was staring at Kuroo’s chest with a hint of red under his eyes, unwilling to look up.

Kuroo was absolutely stunned.

“Kenma…?” he finally said softly after a while.

It was only then that Kenma looked up, his golden eyes meeting Kuroo’s hazel ones. Looking at Kenma like this, Kenma looking at him like this, Kuroo decided turning back was completely worth it. He had no regrets, none at all. The time he spent turning back and running here, it was nothing compared to how long he would have hated himself for if he hadn’t turned back at all.

Kenma didn’t say a word, leaving Kuroo wondering what had just happened and what was going to happen next. Should he kiss Kenma again? Well, if there was one thing he knew, it was that he wanted to. Noticing his hesitation, Kenma made the decision for him, leaning in for another kiss. And this time, Kuroo met him halfway.

It started out as a chaste kiss, but the longer it went on, the deeper it got. Kuroo could feel a hand sliding up his back and threading into his hair, pulling him closer. Kuroo didn’t resist. At that moment, he lost himself completely. If this was a dream, he’d want to have it over and over again for the rest of his life, storing it in a special part of his memory.

“Kuro,” Kenma’s lips parted for a brief moment to say the older boy’s name. “It’s getting late.”

“Mmm?” Kuroo broke the kiss gently to turn and look through the small gap that the fluttering curtains created. “You’re right,” he said with a quiet sigh. His hand that had found its way to cup the side of Kenma’s face slowly lowered itself, tracing the boy’s jawline and running to his shoulders before dropping to Kuroo’s side. He tried to hide the disappointment on his face at the thought of leaving. Because even if he’d just confessed to Kenma and kissed him, _twice_ , it didn’t change the fact that he still had to leave for college.

Kuroo bit his lip and looked away. It felt strange to be ending such a moment just like that. “I guess I...have to go,” he said, stating the fact in a way that it felt like a stab to his heart. “I’ll try to come visit often...just don’t forget about me, okay?” He looked to Kenma with a pleading look in his eyes.

Kenma rolled his eyes with a smile lingering at the corners of his mouth. “Idiot. How could I forget you?”

At the sound of that, a tinge of warmth sprouted within Kuroo’s chest. Maybe he’d been worried for nothing the whole time. But now that he was here with Kenma, he didn’t want to leave so soon. He opened his mouth to speak, though the words came out after a few seconds. “Do you think I could...”

“Stay the night?” Kenma guessed. Kuroo nodded. Kenma always seemed like he knew what Kuroo was thinking. “I suppose you could,” Kenma finally said after a few moments of thought. “I’m sure my parents wouldn't mind.”

Kuroo smiled again, embracing Kenma into a tight hug. “I’ll miss you,” he whispered, closing his eyes for a moment as the memories of them began flooding his head once more. But at least, this time, Kenma was here with him.

“I’ll miss you too,” Kenma said quietly as Kuroo released him.

He walked over to the bed, getting under the blanket on one side while Kuroo got under on the other. Shifting closer to Kenma, Kuroo reached out to pull him closer to his chest. “Goodnight,” he mumbled into the boy’s hair.

Kenma let out a quiet noise, something between a whine and an incoherent attempt at ‘goodnight’, and nuzzled against Kuroo, his head resting in the crook of Kuroo’s neck like two pieces of a puzzle coming together. Kuroo’s arms around Kenma tightened, as if he were afraid that none of this was real, that he was just sleeping on the train and this was all just a dream.

But no, it wasn’t. And as Kuroo closed his eyes with the last thing he saw being Kenma in his arms, he decided that this day would be something that he would remember forever and ever, till the day he could remember no more.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if it seems a bit sloppy and rushed (i promise i tried UwU) T^T but thanks for reading!! <3 <3 <3


End file.
